TED英語演講：學會擁抱別人

你會擁抱別人嗎?擁抱別人就是擁抱自己，就是給自己温暖。Newton女士講述了作為一個演員演繹很多永遠不同自我的角色的經歷，這些經歷讓她變得温暖而有智慧。下面是小編為大家收集關於TED英語演講：學會擁抱別人，歡迎借鑑參考。

學會擁抱別人，就是給自己温暖

演講者：Thandie Newton

Embracing otherness. When I first heard this theme, I thought, well, embracing otherness is embracing myself. And the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me, and it's given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which I think is worth sharing with you today.

擁抱他人，當我第一次聽到這個主題時我覺得擁抱他人，就是擁抱我自己。對於我來説通往理解和接納的路是十分有意思的，並且讓我對“自我”這一概念有了深刻的理解 。我想這值得在今天和你們分享。

We each have a self, but I don't think that we're born with one. You know how newborn babies believe they're part of everything; they're not separate? Well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. It's like that initial stage is over -- oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive. It's no longer valid or real. What is real is separateness, and at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form.

我們都有一個自我但我並不認為這是與生俱來的。你看那些剛出生的小嬰兒，他們認為自己屬於任何事物，他們並不是脱離的。這種最基本的同一性，會很快從我們身上消失，如同最初始的狀態已經結束。同一性：嬰兒期 未成形的、原始的將不復存在 ，取而代之的是分離。在嬰兒期的某一點，關於自我的意識開始萌芽。

Our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself, and these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity. And that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world. But the self is a projection based on other people's projections. Is it who we really are? Or who we really want to be, or should be?

我們同一性的一小部分被賦予了一個名字 被告知關於它自己的任何事情 這些細節，觀點和想法變成事實，這些都幫我們形成自我以及自己的身份。然後這個自我就成為一個工具，用來探索周圍的這個世界，但是這個自我實際上是一個投影。以其他人的投影為基礎 這就是真正的我們嗎?是我們真正想成為，或者應該成為的人嗎?

So this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up. The self that I attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. And my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected, created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time.

在我成長過程中我一直都很難處理自我與身份之間的相互影響，那個我嘗試着向周圍的世界展示的自我，被一次又一次拒絕，因為沒有一個合適的自我而帶來的恐慌，以及因為被拒絕而產生的惶恐，引起了我的焦慮、羞愧還有無望。這些在很長一段時間裏都限制了我。

But in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repetitive that I started to see a pattern. The self changed, got affected, broken, destroyed, but another one would evolve -- sometimes stronger, sometimes hateful, sometimes not wanting to be there at all. The self was not constant. And how many times would my self have to die before I realized that it was never alive in the first place?

但當我回想過去對於自我的毀滅反覆出現，我開始看出一些規律，一個自我被改變被影響、被打擊破壞，但有一個新的會形成。有時更強、有時充滿仇恨 、有時則根本不想出現，這個自我並不是恆定的。在我還沒有意識到這個自我曾經從未存在時，我的“自我” 會死多少次呢?

I grew up on the coast of England in the '70s. My dad is white from Cornwall, and my mom is black from Zimbabwe. Even the idea of us as a family was challenging to most people. But nature had its wicked way, and brown babies were born. But from about the age of five, I was aware that I didn't fit. I was the black atheist kid in the all-white Catholic school run by nuns.

我於上世紀七十年代生長在英格蘭的海岸邊，我父親是來自康沃爾的白人，我母親是來自津巴布韋的黑人。對於許多人來説是無論如何也想不到我們是一家人，但大自然自有意想不到的一面，棕色的孩子出生了。但自從五歲開始我就察覺出我的格格不入。我是一個信奉無神論的黑人孩子，在一個由修女運轉的白人天主學校我是一個另類。

I was an anomaly, and my self was rooting around for definition and trying to plug in. Because the self likes to fit, to see itself replicated, to belong. That confirms its existence and its importance. And it is important. It has an extremely important function. Without it, we literally can't interface with others. We can't hatch plans and climb that stairway of popularity, of success.

我的自我在不斷尋找一個定義並試圖將自己套入定義，因為自我都是願意去融入 。看到自己被複制，有歸屬感那能確認自我的存在感和重要性，這很重要。這有一個極端重要的功能，沒有一個對自我的定義，我們簡直不能和其他人交流。我們無法制定計劃、無法爬上潮流和成功的階梯。

But my skin color wasn't right. My hair wasn't right. My history wasn't right. My self became defined by otherness, which meant that, in that social world, I didn't really exist. And I was "other" before being anything else -- even before being a girl. I was a noticeable nobody.

但我的膚色不對、我的髮色不對、我的來歷不對， 我的自我被他人定義。這意味着在社會上我並不存在，我首先被定義為一個另類，甚至先於被定義為一個女孩。我是一個引人注意的沒有人。

Another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. That nagging dread of self-hood didn't exist when I was dancing. I'd literally lose myself. And I was a really good dancer. I would put all my emotional expression into my dancing. I could be in the movement in a way that I wasn't able to be in my real life, in myself.

在這個時候另一個世界出現了，那就是表演和舞蹈。對於自我糾纏不清的恐懼在我跳舞時並不存在，我像是失去了自己。我是一個好的舞蹈演員，我會把我所有的感情 投入到舞蹈中去。在舞蹈中我能完成我在現實中自己無法做到的動作。

And at 16, I stumbled across another opportunity, and I earned my first acting role in a film. I can hardly find the words to describe the peace I felt when I was acting. My dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self, not my own, and it felt so good. It was the first time that I existed inside a fully-functioning self -- one that I controlled, that I steered, that I gave life to. But the shooting day would end, and I'd return to my gnarly, awkward self.

當我16歲時我無意中遇到另一個機遇，得到了我的第一個電影角色。我難以找到言語 來形容在表演中我感受到的平靜，我那殘缺的自我終於融入了不是我自己的另一個自我，這種感覺真好。那是我第一次存在於一個正常運作的自我、一個我可以控制的、可以操縱的、可以賦予生命的自我。但是拍攝的日子終會結束，我也會回到我那扭曲尷尬的自我。

By 19, I was a fully-fledged movie actor, but still searching for definition. I applied to read anthropology at university. Dr. Phyllis Lee gave me my interview, and she asked me, "How would you define race?" Well, I thought I had the answer to that one, and I said, "Skin color." "So biology, genetics?" she said. "Because, Thandie, that's not accurate. Because there's actually more genetic difference between a black Kenyan and a black Ugandan than there is between a black Kenyan and, say, a white Norwegian.

當我19歲時，我已經是一個羽翼豐滿的電影演員，但卻仍在尋找定義。我在大學裏申請攻讀人類學Phyllis Lee博士對我進行了面試，她問我：“你怎樣定義種族?” 嗯，我覺得我有答案，然後我説：“膚色。” 她繼續問道：“也就是生物學基因上的差異?” “因為，桑迪，膚色並不準確。在一個黑皮膚的肯尼亞人和一個黑皮膚的烏干達人之間存在的基因差異，實際上超過在一個黑皮膚的肯尼亞人和一個比如説，白皮膚的挪威人之間的差異。

Because we all stem from Africa. So in Africa, there's been more time to create genetic diversity." In other words, race has no basis in biological or scientific fact. On the one hand, result. Right? On the other hand, my definition of self just lost a huge chunk of its credibility. But what was credible, what is biological and scientific fact, is that we all stem from Africa -- in fact, from a woman called Mitochondrial Eve who lived 160,000 years ago. And race is an illegitimate concept which our selves have created based on fear and ignorance.

因為我們都起源於非洲，所以在非洲更有可能產生基因多樣性。” 換句話説種族這一説法，並沒有生物學或科學基礎一方面，這是結果對嗎? 另一方面，我對自我的定義則失去了相當大一部分的可信度，可以相信的以及生物學和科學事實，就是我們都起源於非洲。實際上，起源於一個叫做線粒體夏娃的女人，她生活在十六萬年前，種族是一個不合法的概念，是我們自己創造出來的基於恐懼和無知。

Strangely, these revelations didn't cure my low self-esteem, that feeling of otherness. My desire to disappear was still very powerful. I had a degree from Cambridge; I had a thriving career, but my self was a car crash, and I wound up with bulimia and on a therapist's couch. And of course I did. I still believed my self was all I was. I still valued self-worth above all other worth, and what was there to suggest otherwise?

奇怪的是，這些啟示並沒有治癒我那缺少的自尊，那種被劃為另類的感覺。我渴望消失的想法依舊十分強烈。我有一個劍橋的學位，我的事業蒸蒸日上。但我的自我卻如同一場車禍，最終我患上貪食症並接受治療，我當然會這樣，我依舊相信我的自我就是我的全部，我依舊認為自我價值高於其餘任何價值。不然還能怎樣呢?

We've created entire value systems and a physical reality to support the worth of self. Look at the industry for self-image and the jobs it creates, the revenue it turns over. We'd be right in assuming that the self is an actual living thing. But it's not. It's a projection which our clever brains create in order to cheat ourselves from the reality of death.

我們創造了整個價值系統以及一個客觀的現實，用以支持自我的價值，看看由個人形象帶動的產業，還有它提供的工 以及它創造的價值。我們可能會假設這個自我是真實存在的，但我們錯了。這只是一個投影，是由我們聰明的大腦創造出來的，來欺騙我們自己無需面對死亡的現實。

But there is something that can give the self ultimate and infinite connection -- and that thing is oneness, our essence. The self's struggle for authenticity and definition will never end unless it's connected to its creator -- to you and to me. And that can happen with awareness -- awareness of the reality of oneness and the projection of self-hood.

但總有一些事能賦予自我極無盡的聯繫 ，就是同一性我們的本源自我對於真實性和定義的掙扎永遠不會停止，除非自我能夠與創造者相連。與你，與我這和意識的覺醒一同存在意識到同一性的現實以及自我的投影。

For a start, we can think about all the times when we do lose ourselves. It happens when I dance, when I'm acting. I'm earthed in my essence, and my self is suspended. In those moments, I'm connected to everything -- the ground, the air, the sounds, the energy from the audience. All my senses are alert and alive in much the same way as an infant might feel -- that feeling of oneness.

一開始，我們可以想想那些我們失去自我的時候，當我跳舞時、表演時，我根植於我的本源，我的自我被抑制了在那些時刻。我與萬物相連，大地、空氣、聲音、觀眾的能量，我的所有感官都是警覺和鮮活的如同一個嬰兒感受到的一般，那種同一性的感覺。

And when I'm acting a role, I inhabit another self, and I give it life for awhile, because when the self is suspended so is divisiveness and judgment. And I've played everything from a vengeful ghost in the time of slavery to Secretary of State in 20xx. And no matter how other these selves might be, they're all related in me. And I honestly believe the key to my success as an actor and my progress as a person has been the very lack of self that used to make me feel so anxious and insecure.

當我表演一個角色時我進入了另一個自我。我在一段時間內賦予其生命當自我被抑制時它的多樣性和判斷也會一同被抑制。我出演過許多角色，從奴隸時代想要復仇的鬼魂，到20xx年的國務卿。無論這些角色是多麼的不同，他們全都與我相連。我誠懇地認為我作為一個演員能夠成功的關鍵以及作為一個不斷進步的人，是因為自我的缺失，這讓我覺得非常焦慮和不安。

I always wondered why I could feel others' pain so deeply, why I could recognize the somebody in the nobody. It's because I didn't have a self to get in the way. I thought I lacked substance, and the fact that I could feel others' meant that I had nothing of myself to feel. The thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment.

我總是在想為什麼我能如此深切地感受到他人的痛苦，為什麼我能辨認出一個被忽視的人，那是因為我沒有一個自我擋在中間，我想我缺少一種介質我能夠感受他人這個事實。説明我感受不到我自己這曾經導致了我的羞愧，其實是給我啟蒙的源頭。

And when I realized and really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a funny thing happened. I stopped giving it so much authority. I give it its due. I take it to therapy. I've become very familiar with its dysfunctional behavior. But I'm not ashamed of my self. In fact, I respect my self and its function. And over time and with practice, I've tried to live more and more from my essence. And if you can do that, incredible things happen.

當我意識到並真正明白自我是一個投影，並有它自己的功能時，一件有意思的事發生了，我不再給我的自我過多的權利，我給它應得的回報，我帶它去治療，我已經非常熟悉自我的不正常運作了。但我並不為我的自我感到羞愧。事實上，我尊重我的自我 和它的功能，經過時間和練習，我不斷嘗試過一種順從我的本源的生活。如果你能做到這一點，將會發生不可思議的事情。

I was in Congo in February, dancing and celebrating with women who've survived the destruction of their selves in literally unthinkable ways -- destroyed because other brutalized, psychopathic selves all over that beautiful land are fueling our selves' addiction to iPods, Pads, and bling, which further disconnect ourselves from ever feeling their pain, their suffering, their death.

二月份的時候我在剛果與那些自我曾遭受難以想象的毀滅的女人們一起跳舞慶祝，因為在那片美麗的土地上那些被殘酷對待的心理變態的自我，正不斷滿足我們對於 iPod以及iPad等光鮮事物的癮。這些更進一步阻礙我們去感受她們的痛苦、她們的遭遇、她們的死亡。

Because, hey, if we're all living in ourselves and mistaking it for life, then we're devaluing and desensitizing life. And in that disconnected state, yeah, we can build factory farms with no windows, destroy marine life and use rape as a weapon of war. So here's a note to self: The cracks have started to show in our constructed world, and oceans will continue to surge through the cracks, and oil and blood, rivers of it.

因為當我們都活在自己的世界裏，並以為這就是生活。那我們就是在貶低生活的價值，並且變得越來越遲鈍。在那樣一個被隔斷的狀態裏我們可以建造沒有窗户的工廠、破壞海洋生命、把xx視為戰爭的一種武器。這有一個對自我的建議在我們這個被構造的世界裏已經開始出現裂縫，海水將持續不斷從裂縫中湧出石油和鮮血，匯流成河。

Crucially, we haven't been figuring out how to live in oneness with the Earth and every other living thing. We've just been insanely trying to figure out how to live with each other -- billions of each other. Only we're not living with each other; our crazy selves are living with each other and perpetuating an epidemic of disconnection.

關鍵在於我們尚未找出、怎樣與地球和萬物一起生活在同一性中我們一直在瘋狂地尋找，怎樣和數十億的其他人一起生活，只是我們並非和其他人一起生活。我們瘋狂的自我們在一起生活、與他人的隔斷，也如同傳染病一般蔓延。

Let's live with each other and take it a breath at a time. If we can get under that heavy self, light a torch of awareness, and find our essence, our connection to the infinite and every other living thing. We knew it from the day we were born. Let's not be freaked out by our bountiful nothingness. It's more a reality than the ones our selves have created. Imagine what kind of existence we can have if we honor inevitable death of self, appreciate the privilege of life and marvel at what comes next. Simple awareness is where it begins.

讓我們生活在一起，歇一口氣，慢慢來。如果我們能進入那沉重的自我，點燃一支覺察的火炬尋找我們的本源。我們和永恆以及萬物的聯繫，我們從出生那天就知道的聯繫。我們無須因為大量的空虛而慌張，相比於我們創造出的那些這空虛更加真實。想像我們能有怎樣的存在方式，當我們正視自我不可避免的死亡、感恩生命的權利，驚異於即將到來的事物這些都來自於簡單的覺察。

Thank you for listening.

感謝聆聽!

《學會擁抱別人，就是給自己温暖》觀後感

從小到大我的性格都是屬於那種很要強的人，心中想要超越的對手就一定要決出勝負才肯罷休，並在那一階段拼命似的努力，以此來打敗自己的競爭對手，不論是好友還是莫不相識的人，都會被我視為仇敵般對待(當然，純粹是正當競爭)，直到那一次，他改變了我內心這種想法……

那是在五年級的一次月考檢測上，由於之前他學習刻苦努力，成績一直保持在我的前方，就這樣，不知是幸還是不幸他淪為了我的競爭對手，原本班中的雙子星就在考試陰影的籠罩下慢慢開始出現了破碎的痕跡。考試前的星期日，他打電話讓我去家裏一起復習，在平時會很高興答應的我此時卻有些猶豫不決，在這關鍵時刻也許一起復習會有意外的效果，但，但他可是我的對手呀，不行，我決不可以和他一起進行，思考了片刻，語氣有些怯生生地拒絕了他，雖經過他再三懇求可我仍沒有心動，在掛下電話之前我聽到了他重重地歎氣聲，頓時心生不安，是呀，拿別人的真誠去換自己的拒絕，真是一種不道義的行為，但為了超越他也是迫不得已的!

隨着月考的過去，整個人的身心都放鬆了許多，可是在放鬆的同時又隱約有些緊張，右眼地時常跳動好像預示着我成績得不理想。果然，語文試卷的作文寫得有些跑題，致使這一科就比他拉下去好幾十分，就算其它科考得再好也無法超過他了，望着窗外黑色的烏雲，我真的意識到了我的錯誤，淚水不禁湧了出來，我連忙低下頭偷偷拭去了眼角旁的眼淚，忽然我感到一隻温暖的手扶在我的肩上，回頭一看，原來是他，他安慰我説：“沒關係的，考不好不要緊，就是一次檢測而已!哈哈。”看着他天真無邪的笑容，我擁抱了這位對手，而他也不僅僅是我的對手，還是我最好的朋友!

對手在一定意義上也是你的朋友，我們要珍惜這一段記憶，將如此幸運之事永久封存在大腦之中。